HE RESULTS OF RELATIONSHIPS
From the very beginning, God is teaching us the power of relationships. When we make the proper connections with people with whom we fit we can become productive. Some relationships only come to teach you a lesson, other relationships to test you so you can practice what you believe or what you thought you believed before you met them. Then some relationships come only to help you reach your destiny. God may bring someone into your life just for a season to get you to the next dimension. They will not stay, only help you and without them, there is no way you could be doing what you are doing.
There is compelling evidence that strong and healthy relationships contribute to a long healthy and happy life. On the contrary, unhealthy relationships can involve serious health risks associated with smoking, blood pressure, and obesity.
We enter relationships for various reasons. Need for approval, validation, security, acceptance or fear of being alone. It is very likely that some of the issues that you may be dealing with occur from unhealthy relationships.
THE REASON FOR RELATIONSHIPS
What determines the relationship may have all to do with how it will turn out. For instance if you start a relationship predicated on a need for acceptance or validation you most likely will sell yourself short to please the other person, organization, company, church, pastor or even spouse, hence they may take advantage of you especially if they have a domineering personality, manipulative are overbearing or even abusive.
Some spend years in unhealthy relationships, not because they chose to or wanted to, but were predicated on the need or governed by fear of being alone, but sometimes of the fact that as Christians we are to be loving people so we allow others to manipulate us.
When starting a relationship we tend to fall for personality rather than character. Personality has to do with outer appearance and behavior. At the same time character indicates the traits of a person which are hidden from sight. David was a man after God´s own heart. David sought after God´s heart, not just God´s gifts, but His character. That was David´s desire in his relationship with God.
The Bible says that the tree is known by its fruit. If the fruit is good the tree is good, if the tree is evil the fruit is evil. Don´t be fooled by the appearance of the tree, the fruit will eventually tell on the tree. Jesus told us to seek for the fruit so we may know the tree. I believe it is vital that we seek the fruit of the tree before starting a new relationship. Whether it be a person, organization, company or church the fruit will tell us what the nature of the tree is.
THE FRUIT OF RELATIONSHIP
Galatians 5:22-23 speaks about the fruit of the Spirit. The fruit is a result of a relationship. You cannot have fruit without relationship. If there is an ongoing relationship between the Vine and the branches it will result in fruitfulness. The fruits are character traits developed in an intimate relationship with the Holy Spirit.
It is vitally important for us when starting a relationship that we seek for the fruit, to know the character and not be fooled by the personality. People can be gifted, charismatic and put on a great show, but inside they have serious flaws that may not appear until the heat comes on. The character needs to be developed to weigh up against the gifting otherwise it can cause much harm in the relationship. Perhaps they are victims of neglect, rejection or even abuse of any kind, wherefore they are unable to manage or maintain long term relationships.
THE ROOT OF RELATIONSHIP
No one can maintain a relationship if only the other person gives and serves. no person, business, company or institution will retain such relationship forever. Even Jesus would not maintain such a relationship. They kept coming for the gifts, miracles and the healing, for loaves and the fish but He said " If you don´t eat my flesh and drink my blood you have no part with me " If we are not rooted in the relationship offenses will cause us to exit. Offenses will come and we must take the challenge and surrender our own desires and need for the sake of maintaining the relationship, our roots go deeper, we become stronger and equipped to carry the fruit.
THE NATURE OF RELATIONSHIPS
" If you ever understand the nature of a thing, it´s behavior will never surprise you “
- Dr. Miles Monroe
Disappointment is the offspring of false expectations, it simply means we put our expectations in the wrong place. Too often we have placed our trust in people, ministries, and churches but when they fail we become utterly disappointed. But the one who´s rooted and grounded in the love of God will never be offended.
Your gifts do not reflect how much you love God, but how much God loves you. You may know Hebrew and speak Greek, preach the paint of the wall, have a powerful ministry, lead people to Christ with scriptures rolling out of your mouth, but lack the fruit of the Spirit in your life. It is possible that gifted people are hateful and nasty, blaming and badmouthing others.
Through the pruning and cutting, we must abide in the Vine in order to produce fruit, the fruit of the Spirit, fruit that reflects our relationship with God. This fruit will show how much you love God, and if God, then our.
God bless
Oskar